Tag: life

Kona Weak 18: Kona’s Journal

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The cone of shame has arrived. The day before Ground Hog Day 2024 and we are treating our puppy to some chicken noodle soup for dogs. Well, okay, just putting his kibbles in some water so that he will rink something. They say it’s the hardest part of surgery recovery.

Tonight we started the must see movies for “would be writers.” The first on the list was “The Words.” I recommend it for even the novice reader! The idea that life can be either fiction or nonfiction and that it is what we make it our to be….

Today while Kona was away I spent the day cleaning up the house. First I finished my editing on the introduction to Cocoa’s Tale. I am so excited about finding Cocoa’s voice in my mind. Cleaning and writing and planning writing don’t seem to match what poor Kona was experiencing at the knife of the surgeon. Nevertheless the day was passed in such quick order.

The Fresh air day of windows open and smell of spring in the air is quite not right for the first day of February. But the thoughts of spring kept me reverting to the love that Cocoa had for Young Grass. Ahh, that will be a few months away for sure!

Return to roots happened once again for me when my sister began talking about the BAD apple cake that went moldy back when we were growing up. And of course, no one is allowed to forget it. We all remember. Mother is the only one that will still make an apple cake and then eat it. I won’t even put apple sauce in my muffins! Cocoa loved his apples. I remember how he wanted me to hold it so that he could eat around the core. Just keep turning it, he seemed to say, you know those seeds are not good for any living thing.

Attempt at nothing for the past week turned out to be pretty productive. My ear infection is finally responding to the medicine and I am feeling better. Thank goodness, because now Kona will need to have more of my attention. Though I think it will be more to the two hour schedule that we had earlier in his puppyhood.

As usual, I have another meanwhile to insert…. This past month I had the joy of renewing some connections with people from our first Home away from home in Minnesota. That was so special to hear from my good “old” friends. Makes me think of Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton’s somg “You Can’t Make Old Friends.”

And then the night…. That was rough. Kona would not sleep in his crate. He just whined the whole time in there. So I took him to the sofa so that Gavin and Honey could get some sleep. And every twenty seconds it seemed he tried to get away from his ouchie. Uff dah.

This morning we have been outings but not much success. Water has been sucked down a few times and he ate a soggy soup breakfast. We watched a horse movie to help me get in the “mood” for writing about Coco, the only thing that helped was the waterworks. Tears. Yep. Movie “A Sunday Horse” is the dream of a miracle horse, rider, and the jumping show business. In the end the horse lives 25 years and has to be let go. Of course, nothing lasts forever here on this earth.

Then I got the vision of Charlie and Honey being the Ken and Dolly of our farm. Oh, my. Charlie is always “bark” asking if Honey can come out to play. Today is is wet, misty, on the verge of raining. Not the best weather for the second day of February. So here goes for six more weeks until spring. Or six more weeks of winter, you decide.

(The Truth-by Gavin…. I took Kona away from his lady on Thursday and then picked him up at the vet around 3 pm. The look on the little guys face was death daggers and kill you! The next 24 hours proved the neither of them could live without me. After a completely sleepless night, She told me to come with solutions or don’t come home at all. WOW! And I thought we all loved each other. So I came home with some drugs for dogs and a reprieve for my poor wife. Just saying those melatonin chamomile chews for the dog worked great. And she’ll never know that the oatmeal cookies I made for her are full of vallium. Okay I might be kidding about that one. Calming treats do work though. Love you dear!)

Little Black Beads: Kona’s Journal

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“The shiney parts”…. The first week or so with Kona my granddaughter told me that at first she could not see his eyes. I know I replied he is all black and it’s hard to tell. Then she stated that now she could see his eyes just fine because those are the “shiney parts!” Like little black beads on a toy, they are very reflective of any light.

Doing chores every day is something I am used to. Part of living on a “homestead” with animals is chores. First there were dogs and sheep. Then the horse came along and there were cats added tot he numbers. The sheep have long since left and now the numbers of others is even lower. From nine cats down to three is quite the reduction. And the horse is gone also. One day not too long ago I actually heard the “phantom” whiney of the horse as I walked out the door. It had been awhile since that happened. Nevertheless, chores are a part of my everyday exercixe regimen.

Kona’s week nine and ten have gone by pretty fast. I was busy on a poncho and a baby blanket crocheting. So the writing took a back burner. I also had a few upkeep things to do in the greenhouse. We are still witing for baby to come along (grand baby number four),.

“Play nice” is the new saying I repeat often. The two indoor furries have been trying to make “flurries” with their rambunctious play. The other day the two of them finally decided to play and Honey knocked over the kitchen chair. Today they were running through the house after each other. I almost regretted my second indoor dog purchase.

Kona is still trying to figure out my pregnant daughter. The extra heartbeat has him tipping his head this way and that as she gets a few snuggles from him. I am just so excited to see what baby looks like.

I finished the canine psychology book on mirror feelings. There are times that I just don’t want my dog to mirror my anxiety. Her hyper jump up and down rather than settle is so unhelpful when I am trying to get a “frenzy” of activity done. Like cleaning the house or something. Especially when it’s time to walk out the door. Honey just will not settle and watch and wait while I prepare all of my belongings for “the go.” Kona tends to sit and wait a little better.

Physical feelings: cold, hot, pain, hunger, etcetera are not the same as ones emotional feelings. Trying to get in touch with my feelings might actually take some time. As a child I don’t believe my emotional feelings were ever validated. Physical punishment was used to inflict both pain on my behind and shame in my heart. I learned that my physical pain of asthma was not something my parents were willing to pay money for and get me medical help. I had to let go of all the “want” to be cared for in my deepest need for air. My mother would say, don’t cry, it only makes it worse. Stop crying because I could not catch my breath after the lawn had been mowed and the windows were all left open, and my asthma kept me up at night. I had to stuff my feelings down under neath something and just breath, which I could not do because of the asthma.

If my dogs are here to reflect my emotional energy and show me how to heal myself… then here I go. Let’s make a list of emotions first and then try to decipher when those emotions surface and why.

Emotional feelings: happy, disgusted, embarrassment, surprise, satisfied, love, frustration, envy, contempt, hatred, self confidence, annoyance, compassion, jealousy, pride, anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, shame, boredom, guilt, loneliness, depression. All of these feelings have been stuffed under for so long. There was a time that I felt free to cry and be sad. When I lost my drivers license and my previous Shih Tzu “Furbie.” But the sad just would not stop. I had help for a couple of years trying to turn off the sad and look for happy. Butthe feelings only got wiped off the heart monitor and finding happy was so hard.

I remember when we put the dog that doesn’t deserve a name down to rest, my heart just went blank. We had some major happenings in the next few months and I struggled to feel anything at all. Finding a happy place was so hard.

My green house became my happy place. Digging in the dirt and planting things was therapeutic. For me. It took me nearly three or four years of garden keeping to finally decide this was the new me. Garden Oma with all of my pets etcetera. I still struggle to “happy” in the house. The walls don’t talk back, you know.

Raising my girls was such a busy fulfilling time for me. Home schooling was the best use of all my talents. Now, I am just struggling to come up with who me really is. No one understands just how empty the nest can feel when it is empty of children.

And so the grand children come along. And then we see just how small our house really is. The “Tiny House” movement is such an impossible way of life unless there the OUTDOORS. And so that’s what coming here means to the children. Lots of time outside.

Putting practice into my learning or learning into my practice. Yesterday at my daughter’s I found it quite frustrating that Kona kept his nose to the ground so intently that he had no focuse for me or the task at hand. Like going potty on command to be exacta. In fact he spend so much of his out door time grabbing the bunny “scat” into his mouth that by mid afernoon, I knew that he had a tummy ache. Immediately upon our exit to head home in the evening, he lost the “lunch” on the deck outside.

thank goodness it was outside! It had been a rough day otherwixe and one more mess to clean up in the house might have put us all over the edge!

Today, I took a ball outdoors with us for a couple of the walks to get his focus back unto me. Of course, I’m not sure how this will play out through the week into next visit to the “bunny yard.”

Finally got Charlie to play for 2 minutes. He likes tug of war I guess.

Today feelings and Honey not bring frisbee back. Anger gets way up. Why does she play keep away? We never taught her that? The tease play is not fun at all. It’s like she thrives at full throttle and prefers us to be in total exasperation. So while this is a few days later… I have tried not saying any thing at all while tossing the frisbee. Does not hlep that I am usually cold also. So being out there is really a frustrating exercise chore.

Well, I’m going to quit. It’s only one week until Christmas. Time to try to tap into some joy, happiness, love, hope, and peace.

Kona Week Eight: Kona’s Journal

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The holiday went well. Though it was cold. Therefore Honey had to be put in the greenhouse for two rest times as we kicked her out of the house for all of the people and foot traffic. She did okay. It was nice enough to go for a couple of walks. And Gavin did a great job following the menu that I posted on the cupboard door for him.

The day after was the more challenging. We had grands overnight. Poor little one did not have her lovey stuffee and she spent all night crying for “Lala!” Poor little thing. And my mother drive home with my sister worried into knots. Apparently my mother is having some changes in her vision that makes driving a little more nerve wrecking. I understand she is going to visit the eye doctor soon.

We did not get the Christmas tree up the day after Thanksgiving. That has been a historical occurrence in our household. Some people put up the tree early, some late. I do it when I am in the mood. And because it involves so much eyesight, my mood does not get there very early.

We were busy again trying to get to set up garage. We bought a heater so we can do some projects in the warmth. It needs a heat shield up in the rafters yet. So while he was doing that, I also moved some tender plants to house . The roaster of succulents was the biggest one. There are two other ones. Though they are in the library, I am not happy with the “forget-able” factor.

We decided the canine virus is too risky and so we are keeping Honey home this month. Neighbors sitters are amazing. So glad that we have someone willing to help us out. Taking Kona with me yet to daughter’s house. Not much time left until grand baby number four arrives.

So the tree in the e house not up yet. I will get to it soon. I might even do it today. I am still reading “your dog is your mirror.” And now I feel like I will need to read it again to decode my own emotional input into my dogs. The most I have learned so far is that I need to let them be dogs and find out what they want. Kona’s week eight ended with a new bed for the crate that he sleeps in. I can wash up the towels and save them for just bath times.

Kona Week Six: Kona’s Journal

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This week I finally found the 12 week puppy training / socialization plan for Shih Tzu puppies. It is actually quite helpful. I thought the potty training and feeding times would be included, but not so much. So far I think we are doing okay..

A couple of weeks ago I wrote out a two hour increments schedule for the puppy, but he was still on four meals a day. The first week to 10 days I did a free feed on the recommended amount for his weight. Then I moved to four meals with the food in a plastic storage for the day. At four weeks I moved him to three times a day so the potty breaks would be more consistent. Kona has really been such a good little dog. he only has greeting pee accidents on occasion.

Kona has the first nine words learned quite well. Sit, Go Potty, Down, Look-At-Me, Stay, Please, Paw, Roll Over, and Leave It. I’m sure Okay is also one of them, as it is our “release” cue for getting up from his position for meal consumption. These words could be put into a weekly training list. But really Sit/Stay is the most important outside of whatever one uses for potty break. I have never had a puppy that did stay so well the first two weeks into training. We use his meal time as rehearsals. And then he gets to show off for new people all the time.

This weekend we took our first road trip with just Kona. We left Charlie home as always. But this time Honey stayed home also. Our visiting event was an indoor reception so I felt Honey would be cooped up too long in the pickup. My daughter was able to come up and let her out for a play session half way thru the day. She was just fine, but a little cold when we got home that evening. And surprising to me was that she did not get full of burs and such.

Kona attended his first little kid birthday party on Sunday. He was very good with all the petting and greeting. And his tail wagged a little “you did it!” When a six month old little boy rolled over. It was fun to watch him “applaud” the baby with a tail wag. The little kids are the best social experience for him. And watching the ones that were once afraid of dogs learn to interact is a joy. Of course, confession time, is that I lost track of his next potty break and he had a greeting accident because I left the room. Oh, well. I’ll try to do better.

What else have I learned this week?

Family begins to loose their communication lines when distance is allowed to become a factor. I am still surprised at how my family does not choose to rejoice in each other’s happenings. It’s rather painful. I guess maybe I want everyone to be included in celebrations and such. Yet the family lines are drawn and each chooses to share only what they so choose. Sometimes divorce plays a large role in all of this talk / share. Sometimes it is the lifestyle choices of others.

And then when I think maybe my family might be dysfunctional, I find out someone else’s is far worse. So I guess I can be super happy that we were all together for a common cause and got to have a siblings picture taken at the occasion. And we have all been blessed with health until this writing anyways.

Not exactly Black vs. White but the contrast between my two softies is so interesting. My love for the larger has waned some. Not that I want to be rid of her, it’s just that her “hyper” has never really settled enough for me. And her aptitude to run off and be independent always throws me off a bit. She just is not singular in her affection to me either. Nevertheless she is a good girl. And quite easy care at minimal attention except for when there is someone else around. I guess maybe i learned that the top quality of a dog for me should be loyalty, then friendliness. Friendliness first leads to difficulty in obedience training.

Charlie is so independent that I can’t get any loyal obedience out of him. He has been a bit snarky at delivery people. And that might prove to be an issue. We might have to put up a sign for them to greet him by by name with enthusiasm, so he thinks that they know him. Anyone in the family he meets is greeting forthcoming with much joy. So we’ll see how the future shapes him.

Kona is quite loyal to the point of separation anxiety. I’m trying not to creat a co-dependent puppy. But when all he has is me… and the hand that feeds him… well that’s just how the kibbles roll. Will have to start letting my husband feed him supper I suppose.

And one final note on this past week, Kona got his first “pathetic” haircut. Yeah, I know I did not do the best job, But he can see, I can see his face, and he’s easier to comb thru and clean up. So there. On we go into the next week.

My New Laptop: Kona’s Journal

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Otherwise know as the blood pressure regulator

One Wednesday morning just three weeks ago (September 27th to be exact) I ate my breakfast and then found myself suffering from the lowest blood pressure that I have had in weeks. My body temperature felt like 95 degrees and so I sought out my “warming bag.” It is an upholstered sock filled with beans, or corn, or cherry pits, not sure now after all these years. Sitting on the sofa under a mound of blankets and hugging my mug to get warm, I looked at my social media feed. As we all do while doing “nothing.” This adorable little black puppy came on the screen once again, and I though… Ahhh, that would be a nice warming bag.

A bag of fur lined with a little body, a pumping heartbeat and oh, so snuggly. When I am cold, I shall have a new laptop!

Snuggles and puppy licks are oh so much nicer than sitting alone on the sofa looking at my selfish sixty pound doodle on the floor. Honey just never took up the cuddle bug vibes. As much as I tried to make her sit with me, it only lasted ever so shortly!

Today marks the beginning of week four with Kona in my life. And all those around me. Feeding time still involves a few minutes of classic training for puppy. Training stays into the little guy’s life is the new key challenge. Sunday after church he launched himself out of the pickup before I could get the leash hooked on. The four foot fall made him a little “yippee” and sore the rest of the day. By Monday morning he was fine. I knew nothing was broke as he still let me touch and examine him all over. So training stay into our routine is vital.

When I’m not looking is actually quite frequent and with my tunnel vision, finding the little dude is sometimes not easy. The harness and leash is the most important tool for a blind dog trainer. That way I can keep track of the fast little fur-ball

Yesterday with the grandkids my little grandson (who giggles with such glee) was running with Kona and accidentally dropped the leash. “OMA! I dropped the leash!” My response was quick with a look downwards and a foot on the tail of the kite, I said it’s okay- That’s why he has the leash. Thank you for telling me right away, Isaac..

All the “oops” involved with puppies are great learning tools. Pets have a way of bringing out the best and worst in people. And when we are tired, UFF, by the worst is not pretty. Thankfully, there is a crate for the half hour leading up to the two hour potty window closure. Either it’s time for close attention and learning language of the cues or it’s time to put puppy away and let him “yipe” for the going out need.

Books are still one of my best time busters. My mp3 Bible lost battery juice the other night and that was a rough going to sleep. I am trying to listen to a book my daughter recommended, but the going is slow. And the talking book library has been forgo-teen these three weeks.

Greenhouse is on maintenance mode. Though I have been tackling some cuttings yet. There are three or four more varieties to get done. And the canning is slow if not halted. There are still those pears…

Garden cleanups need to happen yet… All the end of the season chores. Like getting rid of the plant matter, pulling up garden stakes, and putting away all of the water hoses. I feel rather slow at any of that stuff because that means the snow will fly soon.

I am making myself feel overwhelmed as I write out the list. One thing at a time.

Drying the herbs and peppers is ongoing also. At least the herbs can go in the dehydrator. We strung the habaneros up to hang on the window curtains. The drying time takes awhile, but it’s usually done by Christmas decorating.

It took me a whole summer to figure out how to keep my chapel plant happy. I fed it some coffee grounds and then put it on a tray of pebbles with water. And now look at it. Maybe I’ll become a master gardener after all.

The big question is: Did the blood pressure regulator work? And the the answer I would give is YES! So far, I have not been cold after my own meal consumption for quite a while. I was cold on Tuesday after standing outside watching the grandkids play. But it was cold. And my ability to go outside without even a jacket at 45 degrees has amazed me. But when puppy has to potty- we run! Three minutes at sweater weather without a jacket has not bothered me near as much as it use to. And I really have not been sitting around as long as I use to. Keeping Kona schedule is movement at every two hours!

Two weeks into Kona training: Kona’s Journal

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Well, two weeks went by really fast. The second week that Kona was here involved my mad rush to get everything into the greenhouse for an overnight temperature of 33 degrees Fahrenheit. Some of the leftover plants outside are actually doing pretty well in spite of the cold snap. We did not have our true freeze yet.

Back to my book listening this week, I finished up my praying the Scripture book by Jodie Berndt. So much of the book is memory bank deposits. But such good reminders. Right now our family has one main prayer focus for one of my cousin’s young child. Our heart just aches when we stand at the door of God’s kingdom begging for His assistance. It reminds me of the Matthew 18 parable of the widow and the judge. Please Lord, intervene in this young life.

The greenhouse takes up a bit less of my time right now. Which is good, because Kona needs some real training attention. Yesterday in the rain I went out with him nine times. It seemed to pour rain every hour and a half that he needed to go out. Today, I am pushing him to every two hours.

Finding homes has been part of his social skill set this last week. We take the kennel with us on the day I go to my daughter’s house. That evening after supper at home, he found his way back to the crate to fall asleep. He was definitely all wore out from the day. We spend a few minutes before each meal on training. This week, I added “stay” to his knowledge of words. (Kona, Come, Sit, Down, Kennel, and of course Go Potty are the commands so far.)

To my surprise, the Black Cherry Rudbeckia or African Coneflower, decided to bloom this dreary rainy week. It is so pretty. I think it bloomed early last spring, in May maybe. So seeing the larger bloom pop open really made me happy. It’s not very many flowers that will actually bloom in the greenhouse at forty percent less sunlight.

And now it will be time to clean up all of the house plants. Some of the ivy’s and winged plants will not handle consistent temperatures at less than fifty degrees. So that is the next push of work. Of course after I finish cleaning up the Geraniums and putting away the canna lilies.

The other day it was rather warm outside so I took the time to clean up some of the houseplants on the kitchen window display. The puppy’s crate is just beneath all of the plants and I did not want any plant residue to fall into his “living area.” Needless to say in my blindness I spilled a plant and some water and had a whole lot more clean up than I had planned on. Oh, well. It’s all done and clean, and ready to go the winter now.

Two weeks into puppy training and I think I know Kona’s schedule pretty good now. Licking means he’s thirsty. Biting means either he’s hungry or has to go potty. Clock watching is my new pass time. And the days are going by much too quickly to get any large projects done. I tried to can some tomatoes on Monday and it was a fail because I could not find the right gauge for the pressure cooker. Ugh. The whole day’s work went into the compost pile.

Two weeks of Kona and I’m so glad that he sleeps through the night. Of course my hubby gets up so early that I think he takes him at four thirty a.m. or so. Six to eight hours of sleep is pretty good. Now if I can just get to the list of things calling for my attention yet. Pears, peppers, Zucchini, beets, carrots, broom grass wreaths and other items are just waiting for me to take a puppy break and get some work done around here. (-oh and another cat took her life on the road by vehicle tires again-maybe we should build the house at the east end of the property) That’s enough for now.

Kona’s Journal Begins: The view from up here

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Week one of puppy training

Well, that was a little unexpected. Everyone is really just trying ot figure out why someone with low vision, and night blindness would get a black dog. I don’t really know. Because my husband wants me to write a book so he can retire?

Retirement seems so very far away. Though at our age we should really be thinking about the futre instead of just tomorrow. But ost of the time we are just thinking about today. Meanwhile, life should be somewhat enjobavle for someboday. And maybe this book will work. I mean what kind of blind fool would get a black dog?

Because the timing seemed right I saw an adorable little shih tzu litter that was local and he was ready just as harvest was coming to a close. Okay, maybe there is no real good time. Just like having children after the debts are payed off. Then suddenly another large debt ecrus. And I will have time to get him potty trained before the next grand child arrives. By then we will all fall in love him..

Maybe it’s all wrong and timing has nothing to do with it at all. What makes me think that I can’t sit on the sofa alone? I have tried for six years to get Honey to sit with me. It usually only lasts about ten minutes..

Because I’m lonely is not really a very good excuse either. I mean who really wants to go outdoors six times or more a day just to experience the weather because they need another companion? Loneliness is a beast. But at least now I have something to say to some little body more than just the occasional phone calls.

Because my Golden Doodle is too hyper and too big to sit on my lap. And she chooses not too. There are days that I honestly think about not having her “in the way” when people come. She is certainly not helpful with her exuberant greeting and jumping all over the compay with a frisbee in her mouth. And most of time for me, she is simply annoying when we have company. I guess what makes me think Kona will be any different?

Because I have missed having a “scueduled” existence? Df I really need to go my whole day not even considering the hour, or lunch time, or forgeting to drink while I listen to a book and crochet for hours at a time? It’s not good for the self=care to NOT self care. So here goes to scheduled existence. Constent walks outside, and meals at at scheduled times.

Because he was cheap, well, initial price was not in the break the bank category that’s for sure. No need for down payments and waiting for the gestational time to pick out the cutest one in the litter. This one was just right. And has the personality to match.

Because a blind lady training any kind of puppy is hilarious! I mean just the other day I used my guide dog to help me outside in the dark to take the little guy potty. If that’s not funny- I don’t know what funny is. So one of the best tools for this job is the microfiber rags. I sorted throu the stash and pulled out all of the yellow ones. A knot ot two of the corners makes for a great tug toy “rag doll” for puppy. And just in case there is an oops it cleans up the floor quickly.

Because I was not even prepared for a little dog, he came at his own time. We had to go get a harness. And one day I had my daughter pick up some smaller chew bones. Other than than I am planning to go cheap on this fella. Old cloth braid for a tug toy. Rag dolls out of the microfiber towels,, and old towels cut in half for the crate cloths. Oh, and his food was about twety dollars. So far the dollar tally is about 250 dollars of entertainment.

Because getting the supplies and puppy needs makes be resourceful when I can’t even drive to the store. Oh, all right, I am already resourceful. This just gives me a reason to use my talents. Being resourceful is “fun” for me. Other people find it frustrating or too challenging.

Because I was bringing the cat into the house way more than I should have. You know, a cat only uses the litter box two times a day maybe, but a dog has to go out six or seven times. The cat was more apt to cause allergy issues for the family. And this little fluff ball can be by more side or in my lap way more that a cat.

Because I am really quite stupid of brain and loving of heart. Yes, truth be told, my love for animals came at an early age. I an get quite attached to the wrong critter completely. Like taking care of horse for twenty years that is on my worst known allergy list! Well, my brain said don’t get a puppy for so long that that’s all that I really wanted was a puppy.

This week has been full of many first experiences for Kona. Like having to wear a leash on harness ALL the time. Dragging around a stop cord is essential for catching a puppy in trouble or about to be in trouble. It’s easer to stop the offensive behavior if you can just hold a cord and ask the puppy to “settle” on their own. It teaches them so many self= control options.

All kinds of first things like his first walk in the rain with my grand daughter. She just loves the weather. And wants to experience all of it. So thank goodness he is not white! A romp through the puddles is perfect for mud boots and a black doggie!

First reading therapy session with the same child went very well. Kona fell asleep just like he should. And the sound of a child’s voice is so good for resting. And children love to read out loud to a dog. It is so good for them both.