Tag: uplifting words

So, About Yesterday…

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Honey came home sporting a kerchief. She is the Chief sporting, recreation, toy, and herding dog on the place now. Her sport is frisbee. Her recreation is napping sandwiched between the coffee table and sofa. Her toy nature is to greet everyone exuberantly when she is pleased with the situation (like saying goodbye to everyone at the grooming salon). And her favorite herding function is getting the cats up fro morning kibbles. Now lets see how long I can keep her clean.

The Royal Regal Pelagorium is showing it’s beauty these days. I was so happy to get a few of the cuttings to take root. They are a tricky little lot. I think doing them in the humidity dome in the house would work better. Maybe next fall. Nevertheless there are enough for sharing!

Well, I know I promised not to USE my family in my blog, but this event was so special to me. On the occasion of my 55th birthday, my daughter happened to be playing in the symphony. So about that yesterday… I insisted that it would be a great time to introduce the grandchildren to the symphony! And it was a Disney film “Aladdin” on top of it all. So we ALL went to the live symphony film production. The cutest was when said cellist asked little Isaac if he was ready for the move. His reply was “NO! I’m going to the symphony.” Then after the concert, all he could do was talk about the MOVIE! Out of the mouths of babes…. It was just darling. Thanks be to cellist’s hubby for paying for all the treats. He insisted and we would have no wrestling matches or fights on my birthday. So, yeah. What fun!

I finished the Salsa ‘n’ Chips gingham afghan that I started in less that ten days. It is very adorable actually. Even though I don’t really care for the color combination. Lots of other folks like it. All done.

So, about yesterday… usually means some sort of confession is about to take place. And perhaps one is in order. But other than telling you I through a whole lot geranium cuttings away during the last month of cleanup and tidy in the greenhouse, there is not much to say. I already said how old I am which is something no woman ever does. I admitted that someone else paid for my celebration. I am not real sorry for using a picture of my family, so there’s that. Ummm… Maybe I should just quit before the real truth gets told!

Sifting Saturday’s sorrow

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Psalm 121: 1b, “Where does my hope come from?” Or rather what help have I when there are no hills to look for? Does the Maker of Heaven and earth lend His Hand to my aid? Yet I have stumbled and even fallen. Here it seems that my toe has caught upon every stick and stone in my path. All this week in my weakened state, I have not slumbered, I have not slept. Sickness knocked at my door, yet here I am.

Psalm 42:5, “Why so downcast? Oh my soul? And why are you in such turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.” Indeed, I have come through this week with a new thought for the Holy week. What about Saturday?

Friday’s dark hour of death and my Lord’s shadow upon the day of Passover’s Memorandum. The Kingdom of the the Son of man and the Son of God had come to this: Death on a cross. We cannot grasp the gravity of the whole. We cannot fathom the depth of despair. We cannot grasp the gift of grace so freely given. Yet here it is every year. The grief of the women at the foot of the cross. The awe of soldiers as the “King of the Jews” gave up His majesty for a criminal conviction. Good Friday is the day of darkness with an earth shattering rending, wrenching display of the ugliness of sin. Amidst the pain and confusion God spread out his Love on full display and gave His only Son as the Ransom for us. Once and for all, a redemptive act of everlasting kindness. The bridge over the gulf of separation, guilt and shame.

Saturday’s sorrows must have been bitter and gripping. The sadness that threatened to steal away every hope. How can one go on in the midst of such deep loss? How could the women have rested on that Sabbath day and made plans for the morrow? How could the disciples have found each other in the turmoil of emotions and confusion? What had gone so wrong?

But God is Sovereign in Saturday also. Is He not? There is no mention of the day in the scriptures. There is no mention of the gatherings, or lack of get togethers. There is no mention of the attempt to mend the cloth of the Holy of holies. There is no talk of this unrestful day between the sacrifice and the Son’s rising.

How did their hope carry them through the day? How did their fear shut them in? How did their sorrow grieve them? Were they sifting through the memories? Were they searching for a string of help? Did they have belief in Christ’s return?

What do I want to see? What am I seeking when I rise early in the morning and tend to my garden tombs? What hopes, dreams, sorrows, dispair have I buried and not returned to embalm? What love carries me to the grave side?

Sifting through sorrows sounds impossible. Even considering the way that loved ones are layed to rest has some unfeeling character to it. Considering one’s sorrow more tragic a loss than another’s is like take apathy to a new level of morbidity. There must be a cinder box of empathy when handling the emotions of grief. Defining one’s own loss as more or less would be like sifting Saturday’s sorrows while panning for gold. Is one person’s loss worse than another’s?

Saturday’s sadness from the Holy week is not considered in the whole of the story. Unless of course you consider the life of the betrayer, Judas. And the hopeless estate of his pieces of silver in relation to the whole event seems to be a touch out of the hand of providence. Or was it true that just as this had been prophesied, God was sovereign even in this case also? How do we find hope in the depths of the mire?

The Psalms repeated tell us to “Look Up!” And so it is truth, when we look at ourselves, when we look at others, when we look down, we feel the inevitable pull of the gravity even upon our very souls.When we look at the cross we see love. Love deeper than any ocean, wider than expansive sky, farther than from here to there.

Sabbath rest is the promise that toil is not eternal. Sabbath rest is the Creator’s promise of sovereignty of God. Sabbath rest is the hope that carries us through the ashes. Sabbath rest is my Lord and Savior offering me a love unlike any other. We shall have rest from our labors. “Come to Me, “ said my Lord Jesus, “all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Old world word one

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Prudence defined means acting out of thought or careful consideration for the consequences. It also means thinking beyond the momentary temptation or the instant gratification. It is a word that has been often on my mind lately. While most people do whatever their thirst or hunger drives them to do, few act in prudence throughout their lives. Consequence for one’s actions is a trained concept and their are even those gifted with the genius of thinking through the potential of an action. It is this very thoughtfulness that can either drive someone to greatness or stifle one’s dreams and ambitions.

Recently I heard a morning news cast claim that they had the “first draft of history” happening within their show. Well, I suppose. Each day has potential for history making. They did find a way of making themselves seem significant. I find much of what I do in a day not anything for the histroy books and not significant enough to even be mentioned.

In this day of “document” living so many of the video lifers spend their day making their life seem glamorous and noteworthy. Me, on the other hand, not so much.

My little old rescue Eva is getting so thin these days. I think she is thirteen going on fourteen but we can’t be too sure. She craves the cookies when we are outside so much that she nearly snatches out fingers up. But she is getting pretty deaf. And she won’t even give my husband a backward glance. Once and a while she will wait for a cookie at the bottom of the deck steps. It is very rare for her to climb the steps. She just has no need to go up them. I keep reminding myself that I decided never to have three dogs at once, but I can’t seem to help the dull-drum puppy searching. It would be prudent to simply not look at internet pictures.

My guacamole ivy (a hybrid and not a Swedish ivy) was piddling on the day bed last week. So it had to find a new home. It is one of my favorite plants in the house. It started outside from one little four inch planter I bought somewhere. It is fussy on rooting out slips, but I did get some to do it on the kitchen counter. Had to change out the water weekly. We decided to plug the bottom of the clay pot with some fancy tape, I can’t remember what kind.

There are a number of plants finding the longer sunshine to be welcome. The Amaryllis finally decided to bloom in the basket planter with more soil under it’s roots. The colors are not as dark as I remember but they do change with time. This morning there are three open with another on the way. And the oldest one has more red markings in the petals today.

Discontentment and winter blues have been hard hitting. We even went for a couple’s massage the other day to help. My hubby got better results form a 90 minute than I did. I don’t think light pressure was enough this go around for me. Next time I’ll suggest medium.

The Holiday Cactus is confused by the cactus food that I’ve been giving it. And so we have a few random blooms. This summer it will need to be divided. I do not want a huge show of plant, so divide is the best answer to its root bound nature.

The Baby SunRose is rooted and blooming. I will need to get the little cuttings into some pots this week. Some of the other trailers failed to root. So on to the next ones.

Teaching prudence is not a common practice. But the best way to begin is with the child’s building block set. Every child learns how to topple the castle before they learn how to build one. And so we teach consequence from the toddler’s perspective. Prudence is the next larger concept that teaches the toddler not to crash the marble run or sister will take a piece of the run and smash it over you head in anger. If i do this than that…prudence..

I am still in the thinking stage of all the seed packets that I have recently acquired. If I begin these seeds too early then I will have to transplant them and then I will eventually have seedlings on my dining table and we won’t even be able to sit at the table and eat! Prudence is telling me to use caution and only plant so many at a time. Watch the dates, look att he calendar and consider the over running…

There are more petunias to pop into little cups and those can grow out on the water tank for quite some time. I did not get any lettuce seeded yet. And this week is looking like another snowstorm coming. So we will take advantage of the warm day and go for a walk.

There now I have begun my old world word studies. And today my brother have a prime example of not using prudence when he chose sarcasm during a group text. And my elder sisters sure took the bait that he chose to fish with. So the next thought is one I have heard for many years. Fishing is a jerk at one end of a line waiting for a jerk at the other end of the line. I would chose to be neither. It is so easy to blurt when we are not face to face. Going to try bringing prudence into our new world.

Begin Again

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“There was an old man named Michael Finnagin, He had whiskers on his chin-again, they fell out, and then grew in again, Poor old man named Michael Finnaging, begin again…”

Don’t know why I though of this silly little song, but it’s there. February seems to be a “Begin Again” kind of month so far. I pulled out the trifle that I am crocheting nearly five or six times now. I just don’t seem to have my beginnings right. So begin again I must until it looks right.

The little seedlings are taking my daily watch care alright. Thank goodness it looks like there are only a couple seedling types that are not popping up. Cone flowers… hmmm. I’ll have to do some more research.

In order for one thing to start another has to end. Sometimes those endings are rather rough. Like falling down the stairs and finding the end of the steps. The bottom does not make for much of a landing. Why beginnings seem so much easier than the last page of a book. I finished “The Story Girl” this past week. Looking through my audible list I found “Hearts of Fire” on my list and got then one started. However, in the beginning stages I realized it is a difficult read. One chapter every few days is enough for my constitution. And meanwhile I am still trying to ‘ms.google’ read the book that my mother gave me on the OT Tabernacle.

Why do i find difficult reads this month? February is a month full of hope generally. The weather is on the warming trend, the snow is meting, and the seedling starts are in constant attention mode. Then along with the book on my smart phone, now the library sent me a native American history of the westward expansion of the white people. Knowing that I live on one of those homesteads makes it intriguing to me. But the atrocities of the conquering country and the sadness of the people is so fresh in my mind.

Why do the sins of the fathers seem so much worse one hundred years later? Yet, through mankind‘s history, people are still doing the same horrible sins upon their fellows. All around the world people still suffer at the hands of other people. Oh, this is all such awful listening for the month of February with Valentine’s Day in it.

Beginnings can be rough, exciting, tragic, or filled with joy and happiness. This month I hope to keep my wits about me and look for the hope in the trickling spring. The other day it warmed enough for the water to run down the eaves. The sound of trickling water hitting a puddle of water hit my ears and I simply had to find the source of the sound and watch it for a bit. That’s when I realized that I was so happy for temperatures to be above 32 degrees, I did not care that the puddle happened to be just at the bottom of the steps. (Don’t worry, my husband got the rest of the eaves spout attached and it now drains away for the house properly.).

It’s something like stopping to smell the roses. And I am so thankful that I actually have a rose bush in the greenhouse. The beautiful bush has given me a consistent rose each month. So the old saying “Take time to smell the roses” is part of my every day lifestyle!

A Glimpse of God’s Grace

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This week we started out with our first biatch of English muffins on the new stove griddle. And a might bit of smoke and some discoveries of old mistakes. First of all, my Husband got brave and made the bread dough all by himself! Scary, right. It took 24 hours to let the dough rise and make them into the circles and then finally fry/bake them on the griddle. They are so good! My brother gave me his recipe to try.

The third biscuit later, I was suffering my yeast sensitivity. Wow. That is painful. So I haven’t had any more for a few days. Yogurt, carrots and smoothies for me to knock out the yeast overload. Ugh. I don’t like my body somedays.

Then we left the smelly house and went on a road trip to see my mother. It is not that far, but with the winter being a snowy record year, it was the first opportunity we had for the drive. She gave me this book for the “gifting” holiday. And I am glad for it, and it’s rich back story.

My mother claims to have come to the Lord Jesus Christ as a result of the way that I came into the world. Knowing that we both nearly died is quite a tale in itself, but this book tells another one. She was directed after her brush with death, to begin listening to a radio program called “Back to the Bible>”. You know the radio is what people listened to before there were podcasts! The main teacher on the broadcast at the time was Dr. Epp.

This is one of the first books that she purchased after coming to the Savior’s call in her life. It is rich with Bible facts and explanations of the Old Testament covenant. The idea that Christianity has it’s roots in Judaism is not often discussed today. I think the church today is missing out on all of this rich history. So after using ‘ms. Google’ to help me read the first two chapters, I remembered my blog promise.

The Portraits of Christ in the Tabernacle are full of symbolic tradition and hope ofr the believer. While at the same time we are trying to do the Chosen challenge and watch the series, my mind is full of scripture and my heart is being saturated in the depths of God’s great love for the world that He created.

Meanwhile, I am reminded that we all bear His image and His creativity is visible in each and every human being. This blanket does not have a name. The pattern is borrowed from one that I say in another blanket. So I decided to reverse and flip the maze and watch the affect as it takes shape in my lap.

And what better way to stay warm than to crochet an afghan? I just had to remember the “three little kittens!” This image is on the park bench in frount of our house. Kittens: Company, Lava, and Latte are happy to have the snow removed so that they could watch the happenings. I was out with the dogs playing frisbee when I spied them keeping watch on us. And I am also documenting the snow piles out by the greenhouse. It won’t be long and the pile will be as big as the geodesic dome garden room.

Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons” has been on my listening pleasuire this week. I don’t know whay I can never remember which on eis playing. So thin I have to repeat one of them to remember the differences. Perhaps it is because though the girls played them in chamber groups, I never did play the music. Just listen. It is always good to remember winter will not last forever. There are truly four seasons in the year even if it seems like one of them gets replaced by WIND. Last year we did not get spring, we got wind. And some of it over 30 mph sustained for days on end.

Glimpses of God’s grace are everywhere for me. I am so undeserving of all the blessings in my life. Yet He gives and gives His creation for me to look at daily. He opens my eyes to be amazed at how everything points to Christ if we just look for Him. I am thankful that while I can look back at history and see The fulfilled Messisah and can also look forward to the Hope of His return.

A dogs tail never lies

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Bites of truth

Most people do not understand dog language. Thump, thump, thump, thump…. The other morning when Honey had to stay with me at my daughter’s for the day, the sound was rather loud and annoying. Can’t she just be quiet? The children are sleeping, aren’t they?

Then the pitter patter of little toddler toes told the truth. She heard then talking in the bedroom before I hear their toddling feet. Honey’s tail did not lie. The little bambinos were up for the day.

“A dog’s tail never lies.“. Understanding the teeth, barred, hackles, raised and stiff tail is the sign of territorial challenge in dogs is important. But always look beyond the head to the tail if confusion exists. A wagging tail is a friendly tail, so “they” say.. Unfortunately some people are blind to dog talk.

It is with this is mind that I began this new leftovers mosaic lap-ghan. Some dog tails go side to side, some go thump thump, and some go in a circle. Some just trail behind and pick up all of the weed seeds, sticks and leaves in the path. At this point in our lives we have the thumper, Eva, and the swish-swish, Honey.

I finally decided it was best to pick the rose in the greenhouse and bring it in for our enjoyment. My daughter’s birthday was over the weekend and we chose to make a road trip the other day, so I would not be going to the indoor garden to smell the rose. Best let it be in house and we could smell it each time we pass by the table. It is so beautiful. The yellow is such a pale color and the smell is outrageous.

My husband bough me the last “Christmas wish” gift last week. The new starter station is put together but the plants will be started this week. My seeds in the library are all collected and put in order today, so maybe tonight the little seeds will meet the soil.

The two for one book that I got from the state library is finished. The second title was “Lost in Yellowstone Nat’l Forest for 38 days”. A tale of survivor Truman Everetts. Not something I would want to do. I don’t even handle being alone for 12 to 14 hours some days. That’s one of the strong reasons that I have a dog. So that I am not alone…

Today, I received a “shallow cup of care” in the form of a text message from a relative. I did not answer it. I find I am rather “short” of patience or kindness towards others in my responses. So I simply cannot respond. Went to my audible app and found the book “How to hug a porcupine.” Very fitting for my time in life. Last night we had a possom eating the cat food bits that were left. Hubby tried to shoot the fat thing but had to poke it with a stick to get it where nothing else could be damaged. This morning I found a rat in the bottom of the horse feed bucket. Needless to say the only cat tthat barn hunts was Oliver and he was too late.

So I am on to my blanket some more. Another book. Another week. More seed starts to begin. And Honey took ALL the toys out of her toy basket to entice me to play with her as the weekend was a little short on our play time. It’s Monday and it’s raining in January.

So did I forget to mention that I made it through a whole day of out and about with my girls? The morning was not too bad with the swimming hole outing with the little kids. I did feel rather helpless during the dressing and leaving stage. My poor daughter had to shower and dress all three of her little kiddies and help with me. She is such a good mom and has quite a plate full with her little ones all under five years old. And then lunch was slow going, and we went shopping the rest of the afternoon while my son-in-law did the “best daddy ever” chore of keeping the kiddos at home. It was lovely to have some time with my girls as our Christmas got so mixed up. They really have no clue as to how much I miss them throughout the year. I used my guide cane while shopping to keep me grounded. It is really is hard to miss all ov the facial expressions etc when being with people.

The chicken cooking in the oven is calling me to pull it apart. So I guess this is it for my Monday mumblings.

New year, new journal plan

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A couple years ago, I decided to keep the yarn wrappers fro the whole year. 2022 gave me forty five wrappers from finished projects. We won’t count the unfinished symphonies in my repertoire. Haha! It is rather enjoyable to look at the wrappers and know that there is more yarn where they came from.

This year I plan to do more of the read/project/ yarn/ weather journaling than I have in the past. So while the hook size and yarn might not mean much to others putting them all into the journal together makes for an adequate memory bank.

The first of the year took me back to the Ellas Gems Legend pattern that I purchased last year. I have wanted to do a table runner and we liked the yearn that I picked out for it. The Peaches ‘n’ Cream cotton was the choice for a table top because it washed up so nice and can handle being a hot pad of sorts. So off white and summerfield ombre was the choice with a comfortable G size hook. It took me three tries the week end of the New Years Blizzard to get the first row of stitches correct for the pattern. I had no idea I could get it done in just a few days.

Having a book to listen to really helps me pass the time in complete ignorance. The book this time was “Paul A Biography” by N.T. Wright. It is a rather long book with lots of notes into the Biblical narratives. I actually sped it up a bit on my Talking Book reader because much of the content is not new to me. I did recollect however that for my high school senior essay paper I wrote about Paul. I never could have collected near as much information about the era as Wright did. My paper was pretty shallow I suppose. The book is good taking all of the epistles into context of the account in Acts. We also started watching the Chosen series and will have to include some review on that in the month to come.

Weather or not, the project was fun! And there was weather. The snow event gave us about a foot of snow total in one weeks time. My back got plenty of work out scooping all the white stuff off the decks and steps. I am glad we have a little skidster to clean the driveway off. I tried to scoop some of that one day and uff dah!

Meanwhile, I am cleaning up after our daughter’s doggy stayed while they vacationed. We are planning to have our little grand-kiddos over this weekend and the floors and surfaces all need a real good “once – over!” It will probably be more like a seventy times seven over. And hopefully Honey does not get into the presents AGAIN!

Christmas was really drug out this time. We started with a new appliances set for our selves beginning around Thanksgiving time. The television came first. The next new thing was the stove/ oven range. And then we installed the microwave with a miniature kitchen remodel. We just moved the cupboard up a whole foot to make room for the microwave above the range top. I love it! And I am getting used to all the newness.

January is almost to the middle. Our daughter’s birthday is this week and I sure hope I get to see her sometime. Not too long ago someone suggested that we have to lower our expectations so that disappointment is not so readily obtained. My whole mindset as a parent was to set the bar high or your kids would not have anywhere to aim. “You know if you try to jump to the moon, you might get over the barn. If you aim only to jump over the fence, you will land in the manure pile.” Well, I decided rather than expect so much of others to be their best, I would just raise the goals for myself! So here is to aiming for the stars this new year. I hope others will see I am expecting better from myself in my relations to others. I will treat the rest of the world like they need all the help that I can give them. May my attitude change be wholistic!

This year I am using I Corinthians 8:6 as my focus verse. “Yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.” I learned in the book on Paul that this is the new “Shamma.” The word Shamma itself is about “brain training” or teaching the mind to focus on eternal truth. The prayer itself from the book of Deuteronomy is the centerpiece of the Israelites prayers and this verse should be the centerpiece of the Christian’s prayer.

Training our mind to focus on God’s purpose for our lives is not new. Though it might be new for an individual to do this. For me this verse has taken on new meaning. Time will tell how high I have aimed.

Wonderland

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Not that life is extremely busy or anything, but writing has been a little bit “last” on my list lately. Not sure why. I did not even complete the story board that I put together on the dolls in the library. I did take the time to make my garden planning list. But write on the blog…. Just a little preoccupied, I guess.

White Christmas anyone? December is nearly at a close, and Christmas only two days away. We had some really beautiful snows the last couple of weeks. Some of it came with ice and misery. This last week the snow proceeded a deep freeze for the whole country. My heart goes out to all of the people that have to work out in the weather. My nephew is a line man. Electricity is always essential. My brother is a trucker and rancher. I just don’t know how cows and horses can handle those bitter winds. We had to coax our own hobby horse into the barn with some extra oatmeal and such. He was standing on the back side of the chicken coup through all of the weather.

Santa only goes to town… not the country. Not sure how that song ever got so popular. All those little farm kids and country dwellers have never seen a sleigh running across the roof tops. At least the fact that Santa Claus is coming to town has left us with a peaceful and quiet celebration out here in the barn lands. Honey would never let us rest if the man in red ever came to interrupt our slumber.

These two were not caroling this morning when I got the best picture of the year. Eva now 13 years old was not too happy about trudging through the snow behind me. Her poor little legs are so short, she was following directly in my footsteps. Honey who is five years old now was running around in the crazy eights like the inner puppy that she is always. Thank goodness that the cookie training that I have done all year worked well and it only took four photo takes to get the two in their prime.

The frigid temperatures the last few days are hard on everyone. The best way to keep Eva content is something to chew on, so she gets a rawhide chew to keep her in the heated huts. The cats keep her company. This morning only four or five came out to eat. There are eight regulars…. Autumn, Tabitha, Crush, Latte, Lela, Lava, Oliver, and Company left from all the mishaps of the year. It is hilarious that Eva likes to eat with a partner and Company is the one that she often shares her bowl with.

“Cuddly as a cactus?” Perhaps I might actually know what that means now that my house was gifted with a number of the succulents from a neighbor this last fall. The bunny’s ear is going crazy. The Jacobs ladder is nearly tipping over with height. The ugliest one is the alligator or mother of thousands. I put it in the most unpleasant spot for a plant in the house, directly over head of the dog’s cot. And yet it continues to live true to it’s name and there are hundreds of little babies in the soil at it’s base. Some of the family has been about as cuddly this past year also. Still wish I had bought the book when I saw it- “How to Hug a Porcupine.”

What really makes this the most wonderful time of the year? Friends don’t call, the happy family meetings get canceled, loved ones are only seen on face time, kisses under the mistletoe are few and far between. How do we make this Christmas merry when we miss so many traditional things? This year I decided to call some of the people on my phone contact list that I have not talked to in a year of two. That has been the highlight of my days and evenings.

The toys and goodies that make the holidays special for me this year is the new stove that I have waited a number of years for. And we did it up good with a new tv, and a new microwave to go above the stove. So tonight we will have another meal from our store house. We will use our new stove to five a delicious meal and I can be so thankful that we have our needs met once again.

“Way up north where the air is cold”… has been our life this week. But I do not live in a war town country, I have now run to find refuge in another land, I am not searching for a place to sleep tonight, and I have a family who is all well and sound. God has been good to us. Life might feel like a merry-go-round but each year when the holidays come around I can find much to be grateful for.

What does Christmas mean to me? A time to reflect on the past year’s blessings, a time to tell loved ones how much we love them, and a time to give God glory for all the peace that He has brought into our hearts because of His gift to us. So I promise not to get all wrapped up in the trappings, the boxes, and the traditions and miss the Greatest Gift that God has ever givin…

“And the angel said to them, Fear not! For I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.” —Luke 2:10-12

How to grow a “worry wart”

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Satire on growth of an ulcer. The best advice I heard from a blind man was “If you can’t look in the mirror and laugh at yourself, then you have a problem.” Even then, looking at yourself might be more of a challenge. Introspection is the key.

One: Have a family that gives advice instead of encouragement. And then I thought, How much do I give a good word? So I got on the phone and found someone that might actually encourage me. It wasn’t family, sad to say. Years ago, we made decisions based on our “family.” We moved closer to extended family so that our daughters would know their grand parents. We left many close friends behind, but distance has not lessened the ties. Thank goodness many of these friends are still “close” at heart. Many of you, I am sure have families that have developed divisions and “rifts” that the past few years have seemed to accentuate. Mine has also. And unfortunately while many of us are trying to move on, the old battles still get brought up time and again. Then I look to those who have lost siblings these last few years. They would do anything to have one more “row” about some stupid divisive thing.

Two: Live in the country when you are blind. Yep, we still live with move than a mile to the closest neighbor. I’m not sure why that seems to be such a problem. But out here in the country, there are some that simply won’t “go the extra mile.” So, here I sit… Last year I tried to create a reason to get into town and spend time with people. The drought kept the garden on lock down, and we did not make it to the market more than twice. Also, there were times when I wanted to get out of dodge on the farm, and I knew that my husband had spend all week gone, simply wanted to stay home. Our unity of need has gone polar express. So while I desperately want to get off the farm, he simply wants to stay home and avoid the “kind of people that he spend all week working” with. Well, aren’t we a find kettle of fish? He’s the garlic and onions, and I’m the tilapia (in case you wanted to know).

Three: Have children and grandchildren along with aging parents. While any one of the three might make one’s hair go silver, Having all three at the moment in time certainly adds to the stress. Our Parents that are turning into toddlers and keys, and stoves need to be removed from grasp. Toddlers that jump off the backs of sofas and then slide across wooden tables, only to take out the sibling, or the lamp in flight really turn up the heat on the anxiety. Then there are adult children that seem to be returning to the rebellious teenage years though they are married and somewhat responsible career holders. What’s next? Could we just not have another life event “Derecho” and everything on the house and out buildings need to be replaced.

Four: Grow a garden in a drought. Yes, it’s true, our corner of the state set record level drought recordings. And rural water can’t make up for the rain that never fell. Nothing really grew well at all. We do have a plan for keeping the water in the soil better next year. More mulch-tastic ideas coming right up. From leaves, to straw to whatever else we can pile on there. And the size of the garden will be just about as reduced in volume as last year. The cipboards are not bare, so don’t worry. We have enough to eat here.

Five: Have an auto immune disorder that reverberates through your life even though there are “known” cures and helps. So yes, I had ITP for about twelve years. Took prednisone ans such until the spleen was yanked out. Then through the years my immune system has been over taxed many times so more steroids. Finally, a recent discovery that some new allergies had developed made my life change much. At least knowing what allergies I have, makes it a much better guess when choosing off the menu. Allergies can be very serious and life threatening. Scary. Not fun. At least most of my Outdoor allergies are much more manageable.

Six: develop food anxiety because of food allergies. I carry an EPI pen now. And it has been used this past fall. So when I eat food that other people fix, there is a “nag” in the back of my mind for at least fifteen to twenty minutes after the meal. Will I be okay, or do I need to keep the pen handy? However, even just recently I made something for myself and found out that the tin containing the whole wheat flour had been tainted with flour containing barley. That was a rough couple of days. So I have to admit that my diet has not been very good or consistent that last few months.

Seven: Have insomnia for five years or more. Lack of sleep is the best cultivator for an ulcer. Because I do not sleep well, (it’s kind of this hyper awake incredibly aware listening mode) it has made me rather tired. Brain fog is not even a strong enough name for the feeling you get that you are sleep walking all day. LOTS of coffee does not even help. I tried the… well….Those pills did not do me any favors. Summer time busy is a better plan. But winter? I need a gym within walking distance. Haha. So, yeah, coffeee and strong coffee is really bad for the stomach.

Eight: Live in a wold where social media is a prime communication tool. We have all experienced some bad thing on social media if we admit it. Finding out about engagements, babies, family deaths, you name it. When is the world going to go back to good old kitchen table gossip? If you don’t actually talk to the relatives yourself, there is nothing to care about. It feels like the populace has all gone into the “grey rock” mode of relationships. We can talk about the weather, the sky, the new car, but don’t ever tell anyone that we have food anxiety because of allergies. No, no, no….

Nine: Drink coffee by the potful to help stay awake. Maybe I mentioned that one already? Well, you know. When you love coffee and you drink a pot full before breakfast, that’s a problem. Just saying. Try starting the day with water. If you get heartburn so bad that you can’t eat your oatmeal? It’s an ulcer.

Ten: Get heartburn that dictates your meals or lack thereof. I did not know that my bird picking appetite was really the sign of a rooted and growing ulcer. Yes, bird picking. I ate every two hours, just a little bit. Because I am too close to the fridge and the cookie jar, picking at my meals was pretty easy to do. Now, I am force feeding myself the recommended foods on the “heal my stomach-starve the ulcer” diet. As if my food list was limited before, the next two weeks will really be limited. And with the holidays coming up, there might be some cans of chicken noodle soup in the back pack ready to substitute. It’s a good thing I like chicken noodle soup. Hey and those books are pretty good too! Except most of the stories are tear jerkers.

How to grow a worry wart? Plan the seed with insomnia, food allergies, and going blind anxiety. That’s some pretty fertile soil there. Water the ulcer with coffee, black tea, and frequent snacks. Feed the worry wart with more food anxieties, relationship struggles, friendship failures, and family bickering. Don’t forget to shed some light on the little wart with some enlightened political debates, social media discouragement, and silent cell phones. And finally, the best thing of all for the worry wart? Don’t let sleep get in your way.