Tag: rainy days

Ears to Hear

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Isaiah 43:1. “Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name, you are mine.” This morning I woke up out of a deep hard sleep to the sound of my name. “Yvonne!” I tried to see if anyone was in the room as a fluttred open my eyes in the dark. When my eyes finally opened up, I checked my phone for the time. Seven something. early yet, but it was not my spouse who had said my name. He was already off to work. Then what? Or rather who?

Kona resting on my lap for my morning quiet time , on top of the prayer shawl from hospice that my mother in law received.

The other day for some reason, I decided to look at the notes that I took nearly 25 years ago. My thoughts have been turning to what exactly am I here for and looking at the exact purpose of my life. Of course, after having raised my children and now welcoming grand children, I still wonder that often. Is there something more that I ought to be or to do?

Through the years I have often considered that God made us human BE-ings not human do-ings, yet in our being we are to do what Jesus teaches. How does this all work? And especially as we come to the end of one life purpose like parenting or job or such, how to we transition to the time in our life where we spend more time BEING than DOING?

LISTEN: The first note card that I read has Isaiah 19:12 on it. “And after the earhquake a fire and after the fire a still small voice of God”. This story of Isaiah listening for the voice of God and finding Him not loud and large, but still and quiet. Yes, it seems the nights that I spend in sleeplessness are often filled with my audio Bible in constant play. The catalyst of suffering is often the greatest inspiration to music and other famous people. Zolton Kodaly is someone that I admired long before my daughter played one of his cello works at her senior recital. I would often just sit and let the tears flow down my cheeks while hearing the piece. While not sleeping at night might be considered a suffering, not having the Word of God to listen to would make it a worse “nightmare.” I am so thankful that I can still LISTEN during the still quiet hours of night.

CALLING: God’s calling to me and to others is to seek His face. Jeremiah 29:13 “And when you seek Me with your whole heart then you will find me.” Twenty years ago when I was writing a new piece of music I thought God was saying “this is your calling.” Like some people are called to ministry, or called to be a nurse, or doctor or the military. Yet rather for me God called me to mother my children and care for my spouse: that was my calling. Yes, I wrote some music. But much like the multiple miscarriages physically that I experienced, the music seems to be like stillborns. Not meant for anyone else to know. And now… being asked to pray for what ever the need of my children and my grand children. This I find is my calling now. And then the random home phone rings. Literally, the phone rang three times just now. Hmmm…

The completed “hearts” of the Freyja blanket. Set aside for its giving day.

NEW HEART: The sound of sonic boom that comes from my chest. I have heard this recently. One night just a week or so ago. It is almost like a thunder boom from my heart. Or like a lightening bolt through my soul. It is hard to explain. I used to be scared and sit bolt upright when this happened. Now I just lay there and say “What is it? Lord?”Deuteronomy 30:6 “ And the Lord your god will circomcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live.” That is the focus of all prayer for my people! The hearts of my descendants seemed so far into the future when I recieved this verse. Now these little people have names.

GOD WITH US: How does this Emmanuel thing work? Joshua 1:9 says to be sotrong and courageous. Were we strong in all of our moves, Minnesota for four years, Iowa for four years and now South Dakota in a modular home for 24 years. “Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of good courage: do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” I use to do a spiritual exercise with my family asking them where the Shephrd was leading them right now. From Psalm 23, where do you feel that you are? Are you among the rocks looking for tufts of grass? Are you resting by the still water? For us, the last six or seven months I know just where we have been. Already been through valley of the shadow of death, and God has been with us.

The little clay pitcher now used to store my ever difficult to find scissors and hook of the most recent project I am working on. “Thin Flowers” / wild things in medium tone pink and gray- very hard on my eyes. Uff dah.

EARTHEN VESSELS: The next verse from Jeremiah talks about broken bottles, or fractured jars. I need to study more about what this means but the Jeremiah 48:11-12 is the passage. Settling here in this place, the place where my husband’s dad grew up and thinking aoubt the “pouring from vessel to vessel” that we are now going through as we take care of the possessions of those before us. And the thoughts about the house and it’s cracks and things that need fixed. Moving all these things out of the way making room for the next generation of living. Also the idea of pouring our spiritual understanding into others. And my daughter just now sharing her calm and focus in the midst of little accidents with children. This broken bottles message is both physical and spiritual. Physically, we can be a repaired vessel that helps others handle the things of earth. And spiritually, we let God’s healing work in us to hlep others. “With what comfort you are comforted, therefore comfort others.”

AWAKENING: Sounding the alarm often makes us think of fire alarms or morning wake up calls. Amos 4:7-8. Thoughts through my head years earlier: “you seek rain for the land but where are your prayers for hearts softened with the tears for God. Pray for living water Do you ask for soft and cultivated hearts Pliable and moistened hearts full of compassion for the hurts of-those around you? Or is yourheart dry like the grass and hard like the ground?When God sends struggles like fire, will it burn?” This wake up call is for spiritually alive people to see that souls are more valuable than physical healings. Our focus should be on salvation of souls, not just keeping people alive here and now, but for eternity!

2 Chronicles 7:14 has been echoing through my heart for nearly a whole week now. I even learned the classical piano version of “If My People will Pray”. We have had almost an inch of rain since my prayers have focused on this verse. And I feel God is leading me to even more focus in my prayers as I dig up these old study notes from the Iowa years.

The last sound that I remember hearing was the TRUMPET. And there is so much that I see and hear about the second coming of Christ. The song that carried me through the month of February was “Come, Jesus Come.” Our Sunday sermon series on the Lord’s Prayer led me to focus on the phrase “Thy Kingdom Come.” All the implications of just those three words could take up a whole new blog writing. We must act each day as if Christ might come today, and yet we plan our lives in such a way that our descendants to Glory with us!

And so I return to the moment. The best example of “calling by name, you are mine” I an think of is the training of a dog to come at their name. Calling a dog to come on direct command is kind of fun actually. when we had Seymour and I trained him to his name. The recognition of name, eye contact and reward was so cool. And then when we had Casey and he whipped his head every time the commercial came on for Casey’s store. I said his name and he ran to me so quickly. Now if I could just respond like Mary did in the garden after the resurrection, “Rabboni, Master, Savior, Jesus!”

Repurpose Myself

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The other day the thought came to me that while loosing my eyesight, I am gaining insight that is invaluable. It made me begin a list of things that I would never have learned without this grief in my life. So while loss is heartbreaking, it is also heart-making! Like the people that lost vision during the battle of the bulge or at Iwo Jima, the lessons learned because of eyesight loss cannot be attained any other way. This is a blog for another time. But the list has begun.

Hymn study today is on CCWilliams “have You any room for Jesus.” And I am wondering how many rooms do I have some image of my Christ Jesus trying to remind me that He is ever present in my life? Do I have a reminder of the Shepherd, the Savior, the Lord’s cross to keep me on the narrow path. The oddest cross that exists in my home is one that my niece made for me out of horse shoes. Yep, me, who has not a stitch of western horseman gear in my home has a horse shoe cross on the wall. It reminds e that we are to take whatever talent God gives us, and use it to glorify Him. Whether it’s welding, music, sewing, cooking or crochet, when we make things that remind others of Jesus, we have done well.

All through my life I have been fascinated by the use of “repurposed” materials. From the horse shoe of days gone by, to the torn sheet rag rugs of yesterday, these items are part of what makes me smile. But getting the rocks and dirt out of these glass jars that my mom had plants in was a little difficult. I ran them through the dishwasher to shine them up.

As soon as I find me, I’m going to repurpose myself.

I began working on another masaic project this week. I love how it is turning out. Now the question is does it become a blanket? Or just leave it as the original prayer shawl?

Mosaic Crochet shawl that took me less tan a week to work up. Hereis is a work in progress-WIP Wednesday!

My allergies drove me to the steroids again. My skin was itching so bad, and my glands so swollen that the ibuprofen and antihistamines were not enough anymore. Of course, now I’m going to have change my diet a little to avoid the acid reflux that comes with the pills. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. But maybe I won’t have scratch marks all over my skin anymore for the sleep-itching. Oops.

My little grand daughter was trying to teach Kona how to use the “paw-pad” on her little child’s laptop. It was so cute. And he was being a very attentive puppy, listening to her every word. And watching her do it all. A video would have been better, but I’m not quick enough to get it all captured. The picture was lovely and the moment sweet.

Kona learning the ins and outs of the paw pad use. And Kona as my recliner sit still buddy!

Yesterday it rained ALL day so I stayed in the house. Hopefully I can make it to the greenhouse today. The temperatures are on an upward swing for a few days. The day however was passed with some book listening and a a couple of of video interviews. My mother insisted that I listen to Tom Brokaw’s “The Greatest Generation.” I am fascinated by the fact that theirs was the life of the cold war era, the civil rights movement, Roe vx Wade, and Christianity leaving the public school. Perhaps the generation to study is the one’s that lead up to the hoards of servicemen and women who chose to go fight in Would Word II. It was the Great Depression of the thirties that made them chose to go fight and go get their very own first set of shoes, clothes and food that was not a hand-me-down. Something to think about.

The most interesting “Purpose” statement that I have heard lately came form an elderly woman of one hundred and three years. She said that we must understand that our life has purpose and that each thing that we do in life has purpose. The purpose for cleaning the bathroom for instance is so that we don’t get sick from the mold. We clean the room with a purpose in mind. And we find our purpose in doing things with purpose. Bothe the greater perspective of loving and honor and the smaller duties of cleanliness and helpfulness. Purpose is found in the large and the small things of life. And it is the BIG person who finds joy in doing SMALL things with purpose! That really sunk home for me.

The verse below is one for the month of August that I want to settle on some. I’m not very good and enjoying toiling for food or drink. It makes no sense to me to smoke macaroni and cheese for an hour and a half, when I could just eat it after a stove top cooking time of thirteen minutes. I’m too hungry to wait that long for my food. So instead, I managed to bake a zuchinni cake this week. That only took about an hour and half . But it was not a main meal that I was waiting for!

Ecclesiastes 8:15, “And I comand joy, for man has nothing better under the sun but to eat and drink and be joyful, for this will go with him in his toil through the days of his life that god has given him under the sun.”

Finding joy is more about being joyful than about looking for some grand happenstance that makes us complete. We can be joyful even while cleaning toilets, or the shower, or winning an Olympic gold medal. Attitude is everything in living with purpose.

Here is the mosaic crochet shawl finished. I just love this pattern and it’s sizing and the contrast pattern and keeping my fingers occupied!

Freezing drizzle

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Today’s forecast

Some people don’t mind the weather. They are either oblivious to it’s changes or born in tropical climates. The rest of us check the forecast daily and then decide what to wear. My grandfather put his long handles on around Labor Day and took them off on the Fourth of July. It’s worth mentioning that his circulation was poor.

It would be best to write a review that is solidly just a review. The last month of movies and a book that seems to drag on longer than it should leads me to this review.

The book is “Into Thick Air: Biking to the Bellybutton of Six continents” by Jim Malusa. It is about his travels on bicycle. which got me to thinking about all of the thinkgs that we do not need a license for. First there is the lack of need for a drivers license with a team of horses, a bicycle of course, and among other things is driving me crazy. The book is not really as boring as the long title suggests. There is a lot of botanicle and geographical information about each of the continents that he travels in to their lowest points. There are days I simply give up and go watch a movie just so I can hear a different voice.

Some of the movies that I picked on the Amazon Prime list are memorable. Others go through this battleground of memory sticks and eventually, a title or name comes back. The movie that I do not recommend for soft hearts is “Mr. What.” It is the story of an ex-con and his changed life after his is released from prison and exonerated for wrongful imprisonment. While the movie is a great inspirational faith based film, my weepy eyes could not handle the continuous effect of kindnesses. After nearly a month’s worth of tissues in the pile on the sofa, I decided nice people just are not my type of movies.

So I jogged over to the thriller aisle and tried to find a movie in the mystery genre. Much better time passing as the anxiety over who-done-it or what-in-the-world is happening helps the day pass quickly. Never mind the fact that I crochet the whole time and keep rewinding the films to get what i missed. The next movie worth mentioning falls into the “Next” category. Check that one out, and it’s sequel, not bad winter weather watching. “The Words” falls into my good-movies-about-writers list. This CBS Film is a mystery romatic drama film from 2012. Anything about an author, a journalist, a novelist, a writer, or an editor attracts my chocolate tooth.

My favorite thing about the movie “The Words” was the underlying inspiration that the author received from outside sources. Writing is never an object unto its own. Rather, writing is the ability to grasp imagination, reality, and words until the reader is drawn into the words with the senses. If I tell you about my burned pizza the other night, you will soon be sputtering along with me as the crispy crust, and charred cheese crunch between the teeth of your imagination. It was truly the best burnt pizza I have ever tasted. Bother.

Movies, books, blogs, podcasts, and life itself inspires people to do, to become, or to write. Some of us a driven to capture thought into words unto paper or typecast. I cannot help it.

This morning my breathing again is labored. It’s another day for the nebulizer and other asthma control medicines. Not sure the exercise plan will stick for the day.There is always some crochet project to do.

Running out of yarn for a certain project, drove me to find another fidget affect. This one was something old made something new. Video tutorials are great for learning a new project. The mittens were made from the strands of a hat that never made it to the top of my head. I love the pattern and now i just need to find the proper yarn. A thicker fleece type is called for this pattern so the holes are filled in with the plush fabic.

Now on to the next item.

My mother-in-law brought up the topic of winter boredom busters. Cleaning out closets is the old time favorite. In my mind, some days of retirement can drive one to the “kitchen drawer boredom” state. I am not there yet. Cleaning the kitchen drawer out sounds like a blizzard day kind of activity. And since there is always yarn to be found, crochet takes priority over cleaning. Sorry, mom. The floor might just be dirty another day longer.

Another runner’s story

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What kind of mean joke is this?

Today has been one of those “Stuck in a muck” kind of days. You know when there is a list of things to do, and no matter how hard you try distraction keeps winning. The small chores are all done and the big ones remain untouched. This is the third time I have sat in the office / library with a goal in mind- WRITE SOMETHING!

I tried keeping to my home pattern schedule. Chores, dishes, cleaning, pets, exercise, lists, reading, visits, coffee moments. Each time I tried to go write, I fell flat. Dead space, dry air, empty thoughts. Some days, and most Mondays are my day to recover from the weekend. And that is what I have been doing.

So I popped another new book in the Talking Book Library. It’s about a runner. What kind of sick joke is this? I am plagued by them. Does God not know how much I would rather be fit and happy, then puffing on a plastic flexy tube filled with medicine for my bronchial tubes. This is just mean. But rather than get angry at the lack of concidence in these stories I will try to look for the lesson outside of the stupid marathoners. Really what is the percentage of people that actually love running?

In my family from the parents to siblings and extended spouses, there are about fifty people total if we add up all of my husbands family, and my family. Of all those only five of these people that I know of talk about running, lobe running, or sign up for charitable running functions. That would 10%. Then if I add up those with breathing issues that prevent such stressful exercise, there are at least as many prevented fromactually running. Why should I get three books in a row about runners then.

Just a moment of diversion.

While I really enjoy a good long therapy walk, running has only entered my thoughts a few times. I just can not seem to keep breathing when everything in me is being pounded through my heels into the pavement. Forget the running thing. Walking, now that’s at least normal. For me. Not for my dog. She wants to run everywhere.

So i am listening to the story and find that most stories are marked by how the main character handles grief and loss. Well, I really don’t want to go down that road today. So for me I’ll keep handling the loss of my “abilities” due to my failing eyesight, by being a stuck in the muck. Sitting and crocheting seems to work for now.

And typing out my thoughts as fast as I think them still seems to work also.

The sun is trying to shine. I made it through another rainy miserable humid asthma day. No running here.

Winter gives way to spring

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New rainy day projects

The past two weeks were full of research for me. watching appropriate videos of poetry conferences, to news blurbs, to crochet patterns. Some of what I watched was memorable. Some a desperate wish to forget!

Lately my favorite past time is hats, mittens, and turtle scarves to perfection. The hat is a new stitch patter using the moss stitch or the single crochet beanie. There are nearly ten made already. The first few were made with leftover scraps. The set above was made with one skein of BrightStripes from my Grandmother’s favorite durable Red Heart brand. I had to borrow form another skein to complete the mitten thumb. The fingerless pattern is also another new pattern for me. The wrist is the sock stitch and the hand is with the knit stitch for crochet. I am pretty pleased with my ability to watch netflix at the same time as crochet.

Butterflies

My work on the new pattern study found me trying some new things with it. Now that the pattern is learned perhaps there will be another shawl in my future. This pattern study is in the spider stitch family. Because the body of the critter is gathered after a few passes of the hook and yarn. It does look rather odd until the body is made. I love it though. There are other versions: pineapple, ladybug, dragonfly, the spider of course and this butterfly.

First I tried some washcloths with the butterfly pattern and then got down to business and made some others. Talking to my sister and all of her flood problems, she teased that it would take an awful lot of dishcloths to sop up all the expected water. Thank goodness for me I do not have a basement and I could spend the storm days teaching the dog a new game.

Find tug!

Honey did pretty good with the mud, water, snow, sleet, stay on the high ground path that I tried to teach her. Three days apparently is her limit to good behavior. Today when the sun came out after three days cooped up in the house, she looks like muddy moe! What a mess. As soon as the laundry is all done, I’ll find the towels and give her a bath. No more find tug-of-war rope toy today. At least until that dog is cleaned up.

Another prayer shawl

With no home yet for the previous prayer shalw, guilt sinks in as I picked out the next yarns. Keeping the creative juices flowing is a must though, right? So here are a few of the projects that have been keeping me busy.

Winter lost to spring in our neck of the woods. The flooding has been pretty devastating in our area. I have a sister and brothers in the blizzard zone for the week. My mother and other sister in the flood zone. And my poor son-in-law was stranded in no travel zone and unable to work for a whole day., Weather can wreck havoc on all kinds of plans. My friend in another flood area went with the flow to practice her kayak moves! Sometimes it is hard to find the humor in such a mess, but we must.

A few of my conversations have led to good news on my “After” project. I hope to get another post prepared on that line soon. For now keeping up with the yarn stash is my plan as I listen to others memoirs, books based on the authors own experiences. These types of books are given me lots of inspiration right now.

So much for our blizzard we just got rain, lots of rain.

Prepare for the worst and all that remains is mud. The day it was a blizzard for half my family I prepared for an early come home day with my husband. But all that it did here was rain. He did not come home early. The roast was done at two in the afternoon and so I ate supper then. On top of the miserable rain and flooding for so many, my cat hitched a ride with him to work and so he had to stop and pick her up before coming home. Silly girl. I don’t know if she’ll ever learn to stay away from the heat of the warm engine. She is such a “car-pet.” Bother the silly thing.

So far spring brings me a hand full of facial tissues. My nose is in deep rebellion to the change of seasons. Is everyone allergic to the season that they are born into? Mine is spring and sorrow proceeds my birthday by many fashions. Most of my depressed mood is a result of my oppressed immune system. I love spring. I hate mold, rainy mildewy, sniffly air. Kachoo! Winter gives way to spring once again.

Now for that shower for my mutt.

Rainy day projects

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Not just for children

When the drip-drops woke me up this morning I knew getting out the door would be something like pulling a stubborn donkey to his feet.  Honey sits down and digs in her haunches at the first sign of raindrops. I thought I was allergic to rain.  She is worse!


So today her food went into a mini-pop bottle. That kept her busy -oh, about five minutes!  Then I was quite tempted to give her a sleeping pill so that I could go back to bed.  Not really, just tempting, that’s all. 

The dishes are all finally washed from our family gathering on Sunday. I know okay, I know I am am really lazy if it takes me two days. But the meat dish had juice in it to take to the cats in the barn. And I kept forgetting. I only feed them once a day, it wouldn’t be fair to take it down at a different time. 

So the dishes are done and the cookies are made. Bother, now I have more dishes to do!  What’s next?  Rainy day project lists are always for little kids. What about me? Can’t I have a rainy day list?

Most people go clean a closet or do some baking or paint the dining room.  Perhaps the best option for me is to just clean the counters off!  Cleaning isn’t very fun though. And anything that I do on a rainy day HAS to be fun.  I use to curl up with a talking book and crochet. For hours…  since the chiropractor told me I have to take more breaks, I really haven’t gotten any crochet projects done. It takes hours-hello.

The cookies are made and I didn’t even snitch one. Yet. So now it’s back to the cleaning list. I did get the floor in the bedroom swept, with a little honey-help. She ate the lid to some container. I threw it away after coaxing her to give it up for a treat. That wasn’t easy. I mean sweeping the floor. This crazy RP gets me dizzy often as I loose my place in the room. Luckily after t sweeps the  dust pan   was clean on the third swipe. 

Rainy days are meant for inside activities. Playing hall-fetch didn’t last very long either, so now that the sun came out it is time to go get our feet wet again. I really don’t like wet feet. So forgive me for this rubber boos  and shorts fashion statement. 

Now that I have spent the morning writing perhaps I should actually make that list. Let’s see…

To all those with a real diagnosis o ADHD  my apologies for this distracted by a four month old puppy writing. And good luck on that list!