“When there are no words only hugs will do.”
Our family has said goodbye to the patriarch. A little over a month ago an accident happened that set up a series of events that led to the loss of my husband’s dear father. The one statement that was repeated most frequently by all in attendance of our losss was that “he was the most wonderful man that I ever did know.” This was often in comparison to a grandfather, or other such memorable figure in the speaker’s life. Such a great cloud of witnesses one never knows within the confines of this life. It is only in death that the knowledge of true character is revealed.
Our loss is heart wrenching, but our hope is ever present. We all cannot imagine facing such heart break without the hope of eternal life. It is that very faith that lifts us up out of the tears of grief into the Savior’s blessed words, “Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”’
Praying Jesus over life and death is something not necessarily new to me. However, being so close to the eternal gates with a loved one made me more aware than ever of the spiritual battle for the souls of mankind. I was so blessed to pray with my father-in-law twice during the last few days of his life. Asking Jesus to be present during the painful moments of stepping from this life to the next was a priviledge that I do not take lightly.
Holding what is dear until we are asked to let go is not easy. Yet during this hard transition it is Jesus whom we hold most dear. Our Lord is the truth that carries us through the difficulty of letting go of the present age. Praise God that He is truly the author and finisher of our lives.
Breathing eternal hope in thermos of our deepest pain is the true test of our faith. It is during this deep suffering that we identify with Christ who suffered for our sakes. Once I heard the Lord’s name “Yahweh” described as a breathing word. Yah is spoken on the intake of breath, and Weh is whespered as the breath is expelled. This is such a powerful expression of the Giver and Taker of life. The one who breathed the breath of life into the first created human being is the one who gives each person the first breath of air when born. And the Alpha dn the Omega, the beginning and the end, is also the One whose name we are to whisper in our final death.
Asking for what can’t be given is still okay to ask. “Ask and you shall recieve” does not always mean that we are given exactly what we have asked for. Perhaps “No” s the perfect answer for our humble need. I still find it hard to comprehend the painful examples of so many millions of children not receiving what they needed in life. Dieing of hunger, thirst or extreme abuse at the mercy of life’s atrocious suffering. I cannot reconcile this torture in my mind. yet I must accept that asking for what cannot be given is still okay to ask.
Each one’s loss is worthy of grief. Whether that loss is a wife with memory loss, a child with cancer, untimely deafness, or an auto immune illness that redirects our life. Grief comes in many different waves of the many different oceans of experience. Each person grieves individually. No one mourns loss the same way. Identifying with another’s pain can be difficult. One’s loss of spouse at early age is different than the death of a spouse of longevity. Blindness at age two is different than blindness at age 72. Deafness at birth is different that deafness at age 50. Yet each one’s grief is still valid and needs the comfort of shared loss.
Psalm 61:5 says “For You, O God, have given me the heritage of those who fear Your name.” Indeed the heritage of one who fears the Lord is the best inheritance one could ever ask for. Gratefulness is overwhelming the grief. There is no thought for the morrow like that of hoping one’s children’s children serve Christ Jesus as Lord. This prayer is worth knocking upon the door of the Great God of the ages to open His door of eternal blessings.
Hard to be happy but easy to be glad. Yes, I said that right. It is hard to be happy that someone get’s to go to heaven before us. Yet we must wait our turn. For the Almighty calls who He chooses. So it is easy to be glad in Jesus knowing that our turn will one day come for eternity’s gates to be opened and we too will be ushered into glory with overwhelming welcome and joy.
Listening skills are important when sitting with the grief stricken. “But I keep thinking of things to tell him.” It seems there is never enough. Quiet time has new meaning. In the house of mourning there may still be laughter yet. When mom says that she just wants to be with dad, I responded with “I won’t take it personally.” My company was not disdained or undesired, it just was an expressed preference. Yes, mom, I won’t take it personally that Jesus is a more desirable presence. I just hope that in some small wayI can be the presence of His Holiness during this time of grieving.
The outt pouring of love towards our dear ones during this mourning period is sometimes overwhelming. To hear from an old Sunday School student from nearly forty years ago about how much dad shaped his life walk with Jesus is almost unbelievable. Yet this is what it means to be good and faithful all of one’s life. My cup runners over. That is the best way to describe the comfort that is being sent forth, even as the empty chair sits empty. Even as the heart break fills so very empty, The Holy Spirit indeed is comforting in every prayer sent Heavenward for this dear family of mine as we count the blessings for knowing this good and faithful servant.