Okay, so the past month or so has kept me too busy to write anything worth publishing. There are a few major happenings and I’ll try to get you all caught up.

The biggest time buster was the greenhouse. The hundreds of geraniums that have still not found a home are taking up quite a bit of my time. Just now there are a bunch of starts just showing new colors that that I did not know took root. The other day I found a pretty lilac purple bloom and a two tone pale pink with white and a red dot! I will try to keep all of the unusual ones for more variety next year.

The other big happening is my doodle troubles. She decided to run off and wallow in bad smell. We were fighting the Halo-fence collar and app for a number of days. She is going to wear it more in the day with me going outside to garden etc cetera. She also got her hair all chopped off, somewhat too short. Honey probably won’t do the heat very well today without much fur to insulate, so afternoon will be inside. She also got an ouchie on one leg from Kona jumping up at her face for the tennis ball. So we had to put the cone of shame on her at night.

In other news, Kona decided he was done with the crate during the day and made some real messes. Not good timing or good experience at all. I spent one whole day puppy proofing the house so that he can be inside during my outdoor work, Hubby also bought me a “horse” trailer to put him in outside while I work. It took a few days but he did get used to the pattern of following me around for fifteen minutes and them into the crate for an hour.

We are moving my mom out of her house this next week. My emotions are all over the board for the whole process. My sister just got a roll off dumpster to get rid of the garbage we find. Like an entire box of empty camera film rolls. Really? We moved that box twenty times? It could have been tossed years ago.

My nightmares came back and chased sleep away for nearly a week. Last night was the first full night of sleep that I received in the last month. So I guess I better get busy doing all the things that I could not do yesterday. Sleep is important, but must be over rated when one goes that long without a peaceful night. The nightmares are always similar- something about being lost amongst a whole pile of logs that I can never figure out how to get out of.

Day after day it seems I make an attempt at a journal entry and only get interrupted. So It is now the following morning. Here I go again. Making my outside list and my packing list, and my just be moment is keeping me from doing any of the lists. Most mornings it has been too cold to garden. So I sit on the sofa with one puppy at my feet and the other next to me.

I started watching NDE testimonials on video the past few weeks. Trying to help myself find some hope during this momentary depression. The allergies and asthma have been so bad that days the weight of living seems overwhelming. It is just so much work to fight to live on the really bad asthma days. Heaven seems like a bit of a cop out actually. So I am struggling with putting one step in front of the other. I am struggling with the day after day constant battle to keep moving forward.

Pilgrim’s Progress has been on my mind alot lately. I recently thought about Jesus saying how “foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place for his head.” I know that my mother is now in the “pilgrim’s inn” of living. While she has a place to lay her head the journey on this sod is nearing the end. Meanwhile my dad is also feeling the gravity of earth tugging on his earthly tent. The thoughts of my parents nearing the eternal passing is so heavy some days that I just cry with the weight of it all.

And day after day, life marches on. Little ones learn to ride bicycles, learn to laugh, and learn to express their thoughts in words. It is the joy of a four month old grasping at a toy and being able to make the fingers do what she wills… Today, might be a hard day for you. Maybe it was yesterday. Perhaps tomorrow the weight of living will suck you back under the covers, but today- look for that little tiny sliver of hope. Open your eyes to the cry of the whipper whirl in the trees. Feel the cold breeze brush across your face. It is all so temporary.

Isaiah 40:8, “The grass withers, the flower fades but the word of our God will stand forever.”